I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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