omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
