i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Houston, we have a squirter
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
