look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
