I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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