I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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