You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
