Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
