Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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