So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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