I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
