Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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