Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
