make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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