dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
