Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
