Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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