I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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