We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
