Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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