i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
