operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
smell my finger.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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