Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize