if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
