The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
