it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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