Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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