Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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