she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
