32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
