It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
