Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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