you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
