That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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