Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
