she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
