i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
