i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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