thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
