I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
