Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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