Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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