Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
