I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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