why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
