I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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