I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
