I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
