Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
