This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
do herpes really smell.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
