Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is Oprah even human
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
