You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
