He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
