oh god the rape fog is back!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
