Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
