It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
