So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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