haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
