so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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