He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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